WHAT IS ACQUAINTANCE RAPE?

No one likes to think about it, but unfortunately it is a serious problem on college campuses nationwide. It is a crime which affects everyone, not only the survivor. Acquaintance rape is defined as forced or manipulated sexual contact or intercourse by a friend or acquaintance. It is an act of violence, aggression, and power. Recent studies have shown that acquaintance rape occurs more frequently among college-age women than among any other group. In fact, one study has found that one out of every four women have been survivors of an actual or attempted sexual assault or rape during their college years. In light of these staggering statistics, the UConn Violence Against Women Prevention Program (VAWPP) offers this brochure as a way of educating people about the multifaceted issue of acquaintance rape.

• One fifth of college women experience forced sex by someone they know (Ms. Magazine/National Institutes of Health Study)
• More than 80% of all rapes are acquaintance rapes. (U.S. Department of Justice.
• The majority of acquaintance rapes are committed against women between the ages of 15 and 24. (U.S. Department of Justice.)
• A woman is raped every two and one-half minutes in this country. (Senate Judiciary Committee)
• 90% of all rape victims are women. (F.B.I.)
• 90% of all rapes are planned although the victim is not always known. (National Victim Center)
• One third of all rapes are committed by two or more assailants. (Project on the Status and Education of Women)

MYTHS AND FACTS

MYTH: Survivors are to blame in some way for the assault.
FACT: The rapist is always responsible for having committed the rape. Survivors do not "ask" to be raped, regardless of their clothing, appearance, behavior, judgement or previous actions.

MYTH: Rape is usually committed by strangers.
FACT: Women are in far greater danger of being raped by a friend or fellow student than by a stranger. Almost 90% of college women who were raped knew their assailants. One reason why acquaintance rape is so traumatic is because the survivor's trust in others and in her own judgement can be seriously damaged.

MYTH: Rapists are "crazy men" with uncontrollable sexual desires.
FACT: Studies have shown that only 5% of convicted rapists have a diagnosed mental disorder. Rapists are not motivated by a sudden sexual desire. Both men and women are capable of, and responsible for, controlling both their minds and bodies.

MYTH: Only women can be raped.
FACT: 10% of rape survivors are male. Note: as 90% of rape survivors are female, and 98% of perpetrators are male, most of the information in this brochure focuses on female survivors.

ACQUAINTANCE RAPE PREVENTION TIPS:

MEN:

1. Do not listen to or tell rape jokes. They help perpetuate attitudes that make acceptance and tolerance of rape easier.
2. Never insist on having sex, even if she leads you on, dresses provocatively, or if you have had sex with her before.
3. If you are getting mixed signals from a woman, stop and ask her directly what she wants.
4. Use alcohol responsibly. Alcohol and drugs are implicated in many rapes and diminish our judgement and sensitivity. Being drunk is not a legal defense -- you can still be charged and convicted of rape.
5. Remember that "No" means "No". If you do not accept a woman's "no", you run the risk of raping her as she has not given consent.
6. Remember that consent to some sexual activity (kissing, touching, etc.) does not imply consent to all kinds of sexual activity.

WOMEN:

1. Trust your intuition.
2. Be assertive. State clearly what you want and do not want. Do not be afraid to set limits.
3. Be aware of your surroundings. Are your friends still around? Who else is in the apartment/house/residence hall?
4. Use alcohol responsibly. 80-90% of acquaintance rapes involve alcohol and/or drugs. Alcohol and drugs cloud your judgement and make it difficult to anticipate situations in which sexual assault might occur.
5. Beware of men who: are angry or hostile if you say no; threaten, bully, or try to control you; have been violent with previous girlfriends; engage in sexual harassment or tell sexist jokes; or try to make you feel guilty or accuse you of being uptight if you say no to advances.
6. Remember that consent to some sexual activity (kissing, touching, etc.) does not imply consent to all kinds of sexual activity.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE ASSAULTED:

1. Trust your instincts - your first responsibility is to yourself.
2. Get medical attention for possible external or internal injuries, STD's and pregnancy. Also, evidence collection can be done at this time, whether or not you choose to tell the police.
3. Tell someone. Confiding in someone you trust can help you begin the healing process.
4. Consider whether you want to report the rape to the police. This is a decision only you can make. Filing criminal charges, however, gives some women a sense of empowerment. In addition, you may wish to report the assault to University officials.
5. Believe in yourself. What happened to you was wrong, regardless of whether you were dating the person who attacked you, or were longtime friends, casual acquaintances, or strangers to each other. THE RAPE WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

HOW TO HELP A SURVIVOR

• Believe her/him.
• Listen and protect the survivor's privacy by not sharing the conversation with others.
• Reinforce that the rape was not the survivor's fault.
• Encourage the survivor to get medical attention and emotional support from the available resources.
• Encourage the survivor to preserve evidence by not showering before a post-rape exam and placing each article of clothing worn during the assault in its own paper bag.

RESOURCES