A Short Guide To That First Date

So, you’ve finally asked that special girl out, and now you don’t know what to do on your date. Should you buy flowers? Are chocolates the answer? Where should you take her? How should you dress? These questions are normal parts of the dating process so stop stressing about them and get to solving them. Going out on a date very well may be one of the most difficult things you ever do if you get too worked up. Here are a few tips to get you dating happily…

First of all be yourself. The hardest part of the date (asking her out) is already over. Now you have to remember that it is your personality that sparked her interest in the first place! Most men try to overcompensate when they are out on a dateand lie about themselves. Never lie. NEVER. Lots of guys think that it is OK to lie for one night. However, now you lie through your teeth to be interesting. Great! You get the second date. Now you have to be consistent with all the lies you told on your first date. Tricky. Five dates later you have to review your lies for two days before each date. All good relationships have a foundation based on honesty. You build your relationship on lies and it is bound to crumble. So, don't pretend to be someone you're not. You can only get the trust of someone else by putting your trust in them. It is hard to build trust but easy to destroy it. Sometimes you can never get it back! Be honest!

Remember to relax. You can set up the most perfect date ever devised by a human being and blow the whole thing by being nervous. Nervousness is a deal breaker because it kills conversation. Some people like to look at a first date as an interview, which is a poor way to go about dating. Remember it's a date and you're meant to be having fun, so don't give her the third degree. Questions like, "Where do you work?" and "What do you do?" are reserved for job interviews. If you are smart and ask good open ended questions, she will tell you what you need to know anyway. Open ended questions often use words like why or how, and not who, where or when. Think up some fun things to talk about that will reveal an interesting part of your life or personality. Make sure she is having fun and that you are not putting her under pressure. Most importantly, don’t forget to be a good listener too. Focus your attention on her and listen carefully, showing your interest. She will constantly reveal bits of important personal information. This will provide you with further topics for open-ended questions allowing you to keep the conversation going and show your interest. Good listeners are always regarded by others as great company, no matter how little they actually say!

Make sure you chose the right environment. Don't take her to a movie, a show or a club on a first date. You want to be able to talk to her choose an activity that she enjoys and make it fun. If you don't know her very well, don't take her out on a romantic date - save that for the next date, if this one is a success. Consider choosing something totally original that she has never done before. Try something both memorable and fun. Remember, this is all about her having fun and wanting to spend more time with you later. Leave time afterwards to have something to eat so that you can talk. Don't try and impress her by taking her out to an expensive restaurant on your first date. This causes tension when you want her to relax and simply enjoy your company. Museums are a good choice; you get to meander through the halls, look at exhibits, and chat about anything that inspires you. The galleries are a great place to get to know each other and to see each other's tastes in art - or whatever. Also, most museums are usually easy to get to and offer a place to eat. A museum is relaxed, easy and inexpensive. Walks are a good tactic; you can walk (almost) anywhere, parks, zoos, botanical gardens and so on. It's cheap fun and pressure-free. Outdoor activities in general, sporting events, concerts and picnics are great places for first dates. You can talk, and being outside, everything feels less claustrophobic. It's easy and relaxed and dressy clothes usually aren’t a problem. No matter what, have FUN! Dating should be fun. Make sure you are comfortable with your date, get out there, and ENJOY YOURSELF!

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